Grandparents Are Divorcing!
How do we tell their grandkids, and what are the right words-depending on their age?
New London, WI - When Grandparents Divorce, is an important guide on how to tell grandchildren about their grandparents' divorce. This book is authored by Katie Saint, a professional counselor, who has first-hand experience when her parents announced they were getting divorced. Her four-year-old son was so confused, upset-and sad. He could not understand that people he loved didn't love each other anymore.
Then the questions started:
Then the questions started:
- If they don't love each other, do they still love me?
- How will we celebrate my birthday, Christmas without my grandparents?
- Am I the only one this is happening to?
So, are a lot of grandparents getting divorced these days? These stats say YES, and a lot of parents are going to be explaining divorce to kids. Divorce rate for first marriage is 41% (and many stay married for 25-30+ years, then divorcing).
In one of the illustrations created beautifully by Michelle Lund, young Isaac is telling his best friends, his toy cars, his news: "Mom just told me that my grandparents are going to be moving to separate houses." The parents have many conversations with their two children, Isaac and Ari, answering their questions, and suggesting they do some drawings of how they feel. They all share how they are feeling, and reassure each other that no matter what, Mom and Dad will always be there and love them-and that each grandparent will continue to love them.
When Grandparents Divorce is written with a professional perspective through added Q&A for parents to aid them in understanding what are age-appropriate behaviors and reactions. This book will help parents have those difficult conversations with their kids (ongoing as things change), explaining the very confusing divorce of their beloved grandparents. It is meant to help kids see that the emotions they're feeling are normal-and to help them understand what changes are happening with their grandparents. Most important aspect for the children is to understand that the divorce does not change either grandparent's love for their grandchild. Children grieve in many different ways. Getting them to process that grief can be difficult.
Publisher: Coffee Table Press
Date of publish: August 2012
Pages: 35
Where to buy the book: Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Author's website
SNEAK PEAK:
In this image (illustrated by Michelle Lund) Isaac is telling his toy cars/best friends that he was just told his grandparents are going to be moving to separate houses.When Grandparents Divorce is written with a professional perspective through added Q&A for parents to aid them in understanding what are age-appropriate behaviors and reactions. This book will help parents have those difficult conversations with their kids (ongoing as things change), explaining the very confusing divorce of their beloved grandparents. It is meant to help kids see that the emotions they're feeling are normal—and to help them understand what changes are happening with their grandparents. Most important aspect for the children is to understand that the divorce does not change either grandparent’s love for their grandchild. Children grieve in many different ways. Getting them to process that grief can be difficult.
When Grandparents Divorce will answer hard questions like:
- What kinds of behaviors are normal when children are upset about a divorce in general, not just grandparent divorce?
- What can I do if my children are displaying behaviors related to the divorce?
- How can I get my kids to talk about their struggles?
- When should I tell my children about the divorce?
- Is it okay to cry in front of my children about the divorce?
- What do I do if my children are mad at their grandparents because of the divorce?
About Katie
Katie Saint is a therapist, but this book came around because she is a mother of a two little boys whose grandparents (her parents) were getting divorced. She realized with all of their questions, other families must have the same concerns.
Professionally, she works with clients at many stages in life: relational problems; transitioning through divorce; working through ADHD, PTSD, anxiety and depression; grieving a loved one; and other life stressors. Katie focuses on helping clients recognize and build on their own strengths to meet their personal goals.
Katie Saint graduated from Lakeland College with a Master's Degree in Counseling, and is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. She specializes in extreme behavioral problems. She provides individual, couple, pre-marital, and family counseling to children, adolescents and adults. Katie has over 4000 hours working with adults, children and adolescents on the Autism Spectrum. She also offers an emotional control program for adolescents and adults struggling with impulsive behavior or emotional regulation. Katie utilizes a variety of therapeutic techniques including the combination of behavioral, cognitive and psychoanalytic tools.
My Thoughts
Ari and Isaac just found out that their grandparents are getting a divorce. Things will be different, grandma will have her own place without grandpa and visa versa. This makes the kids very sad and confused. It just won't be the same as when they lived together.
Does that mean that mom and dad will get a divorce?
How can we make this easier for children so they can still enjoy time with each grandparent?
This book will help your child understand a little better. It explains what you should tell them. It will still be fun to visit grandma at her house and doing the fun things they did before it would just be without grandpa. Then there are special things they like to do with grandpa and they will still be able to do those things even without grandma.
I had never really thought about the effect it would have on a child when their grandparents divorce. Now I definitely see that it would confuse a child to the point of pulling away from the situation because they weren't sure how to react.
Katie tells the story in a way so that the child will be more comfortable around the grandparents. They need the assurance that they are still loved by both grandparents. I liked that the author provides activities for the child to help them express their feelings about the divorce. Then there is a question and answer guide in the back of the book that offers information and support to the parents.
I highly recommend this book.
I rated this book a 5 out of 5.
Disclosure
I received a free book from Bostick Communications/Author for review. I was in no way compensated for this review. It is my own opinion.
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